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Schools

My ex-husband sent me a text, promising $20,000 for our children’s education. Now he refuses to pay. What can I do?

Marcus Chen
Marcus Chen
Marcus Chen
Managing Editor · St. Paul, MN

Marcus manages the day-to-day editorial workflow across all brands, coordinating coverage assignments and ensuring editorial standards are met. He previously served as city editor at the Pioneer Press and holds a degree in Political Science from Carleton College.

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Managing Editor · Monday, November 2, 2026 at 3:15 PM · 5 min read
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A single mother looking at her children's school documents with concern.

When Jane Thompson received a text from her ex-husband, it felt like a lifeline. He promised $20,000 for each of their two daughters' education, a gesture that seemed to reflect a commitment to their future. But as the months passed and the money never materialized, Jane found herself facing a harsh reality: the promise was just words, and now she had to navigate a complex legal landscape to secure her children's educational needs.

The Broken Promise

Before their divorce, Jane's former mother-in-law entrusted her ex-husband with $20,000 for each daughter, a total of $40,000 intended for their education. This financial gesture was meant to ensure that the children would have access to quality schooling, but after the divorce, Jane learned that her ex-husband had no intention of following through on the promise. “It’s heartbreaking to think that he would go back on something so important for our kids,” Jane said, reflecting on the emotional toll this situation has taken on her family.

In the wake of their separation, Jane has been left to shoulder the financial burden of raising two daughters, ages 10 and 12. With rising tuition costs in New York City, securing the promised funds has become a pressing concern. Schools like NYC Department of Education offer a variety of educational opportunities, but they often come with hefty price tags, particularly for private institutions. Jane's daughters attend a local public school, but she has aspirations for them to attend a prestigious private school known for its strong academic program and college preparatory focus. The tuition at these institutions can easily exceed $50,000 per year, making the promised funds even more critical.

Understanding Legal Options

In New York, divorce agreements can vary widely, and many parents find themselves grappling with the complexities of financial commitments post-divorce. Jane's situation is not unique; many custodial parents face similar challenges when it comes to securing financial support for their children's education. According to New York State Unified Court System, parents can pursue legal action if a former spouse fails to uphold financial promises made during or after a divorce.

Jane’s first step is to consult with a family law attorney to explore her options. A lawyer can help her understand whether the promise made by her ex-husband can be legally enforced. “I never thought I would have to fight for something that was promised to our children,” she lamented. Legal experts suggest that if the promise was documented, even informally, it could strengthen Jane's case. Jane recalls a conversation with her ex-husband where he assured her the funds would be available, and she wonders if that verbal agreement could be leveraged in her favor.

The Role of Mediation

Before escalating to court, mediation can be a valuable tool for parents like Jane. Mediation allows both parties to discuss their issues with the help of a neutral third party, aiming to reach a mutually agreeable solution. Organizations such as New York State Divorce Mediation provide resources for individuals seeking to resolve disputes amicably.

Jane is considering this option, hoping to avoid the lengthy and costly process of litigation. “If we can come to an agreement without going to court, that would be ideal for everyone involved,” she stated. Mediation can not only save time and money but also help preserve a working relationship between ex-spouses, which is especially important when children are involved. Jane has heard success stories from friends who have gone through mediation and emerged with agreements that respected both parties’ needs while prioritizing their children's welfare.

Community Resources for Support

In addition to legal avenues, Jane can also tap into community resources that offer support for single parents. Organizations like Single Parent Resource provide guidance on financial planning, educational grants, and other assistance programs tailored for families in need. These local resources are invaluable, especially in a city where the cost of living is high and financial strain can be overwhelming.

Jane has started attending workshops hosted by local nonprofits that focus on financial literacy and budgeting for single parents. These workshops not only provide practical advice but also connect her with other parents who share similar experiences. “I want to make sure my daughters have the best education possible,” she emphasized, recognizing the importance of a strong educational foundation in today’s competitive job market. The support she receives from her community has been a source of strength, reminding her that she is not alone in her struggles.

Why Education Funding Matters

Education is a vital investment in a child’s future, and securing adequate funding is crucial for families like Jane’s. With the cost of college tuition soaring, the promise of $20,000 for each daughter represented a significant opportunity for a better future. According to the College Board, the average cost of tuition and fees for the 2022-2023 academic year was over $10,000 for in-state public colleges, and more than $38,000 for private colleges.

Jane’s daughters deserve the chance to pursue their dreams without the burden of overwhelming debt. As a community, we must recognize the importance of supporting families in their educational endeavors. Jane’s struggle is a reminder of the broader societal issue surrounding educational funding and the impact it has on children’s futures. Many families in New York City face similar dilemmas, highlighting the urgent need for systemic changes that ensure equitable access to quality education for all children, regardless of their financial background.

Looking Ahead: A Path Forward

As Jane navigates this challenging situation, she remains hopeful. With the right legal support and community resources, she believes she can secure the funds promised by her ex-husband. “I’m determined to fight for my girls’ future,” she declared, embodying the resilience many single parents display in the face of adversity. Her determination is not just for her daughters but also serves as a beacon of hope for other parents who find themselves in similar predicaments.

Ultimately, Jane’s story is one of perseverance and the unwavering commitment of a mother to provide for her children. As she takes the necessary steps to address the broken promise of financial support, she also encourages other parents facing similar challenges to seek help. “Don’t hesitate to reach out for support. There are people and resources out there willing to help,” she advised. Jane's journey underscores the importance of community, resilience, and advocacy in securing a brighter future for children.

In a city like New York, where the cost of living can be daunting, the importance of strong family values and commitment to education cannot be overstated. Jane’s experience serves as a call to action for all parents to advocate for their children’s educational needs and to hold each other accountable in fulfilling promises made. As she continues this fight, Jane hopes to inspire others to stand firm in their convictions and to prioritize their children's education amidst life's challenges.

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